I froze in my window. Staring at the sky that just like a sparkling picture which can’t be read by me. My face still looked up to the sky that looks chaotic with all its perfection. What exactly happened to them? "The twin star ... why they have not seen?" I said to myself. I had been questioning, what will happen to them or one of them.
I'm not really want to lower my hands to prop my chin, I leaned on the dresser right beside the open window, until there was a very familiar voice tried to woke me up.
"Hi ... Ra ..." he said softly.
We were still staring at each other for a while. I forgot when the last time we’re doing that. It’s been too long. Soon, he raised his eyebrows as he smiled.
"Howdy, Ra?" He asked casually as he stood leaning against my door.
"Sam!" I suddenly got up from the bench my room and threw my arms around him. "Good! Where have you been, Sam? I just really missed you! "
I wonder what made him so different. After that incident, I know, he had the most terrible injured. But then when I saw him after so long, he was the same.
"I'm here right now ..." Sam hugged me and kissed my cheek. "You are getting big."
"You're an evil, never come home!" I can’t hide my tears.
"I’m really sorry, Ra." he’s still hugging me. "Is everything all right here?"
"It's good."
"What about Daddy?"
"M-hm ... He's good too!" and then I can't stop my tears.
"Please, don’t cry anymore ... you’ll look ugly." he laughed as he teased me.
"I don’t care! I just miss you! I am very happy you're here!"
"That's why I’m here."
After a while I tried to pull his arms, but its hard because I still enjoyed his embrace. As if I didn’t want to lose that moment.
"Sam ... Don’t go anymore, please ...!" I said earnestly.
"Yeah ..," she nodded weakly.
It’s almost two years Sam didn’t come home. He abandoned his study at college. He left home and gone off somewhere. Sam is my oldest brother. After an accident three years ago, I knew Sam could not seem to forgive himself, perhaps until now.
"This house actually remains the same, Ra ..."
"No Sam ... never be the same without you here." We both sat on the bench, our favorite spot at back porch.
He bowed briefly and then looked ahead toward a row of pots of orchids with a straight face, but seems hide his interest.
"The Orchids, did you nurse all of them?" I knew he would ask me that. "How beautiful they are!"
"No, I didn’t. It’s Aunt Inne"
"Owh ..." he sounds lazy.
Aunt Inne was the new wife of our dad. Two years ago our dad decided to remarry. All I know, Sam really hates it. For him unfairly, how could so easily our dad enter strangers to our house, to marry him, and then forget about our loving mother away. He decided not to come to the wedding. After that, Sam seemed don’t want to be found by anyone.
Even so, he still sent me something in some mysterious way. Frequently Sam just sent me news that he was fine. Just few words like; "I miss you, Ra!" or "Study hard, Ra". Or "Keep an eye on daddy, Ra" which delivered by the maid, gardener, or anyone else but never directly to me and Dad and Auntie Inne.
"What about your college?" he asked.
"Good." I nodded.
"No doubt many boys had a crush on you, isn’t it?" she teased me again, ignorant as usual. However, that's what I always miss about him.
"That’s because you are my brother!" I retorted.
"Sure!" Sam laughed very relax at time.
"All this time, where had you been, Sam?" my face couldn’t hide my worry.
"I’m so sorry, I know I've been making all worried. I just want to prove to myself, mama, also El, that I could change to be a better person. Anyway, I've been working now, Ra” he said, looking at me.
"Really?"
"Yeah, at the multimedia’s company. I’m an illustrator there."
"I know, your soul has always existed in that world, Sam."
"I realize it's been a long time. Basically I just messed up with my life before that ...-"
"Who said you’re messed up anyway?!” I interrupted him. "You're still the best brother for me."
"I can only make troubles for mum and dad," then he drew in an audible breath."Mama and El died because of me".
"Sam, stop it. I never want to hear that anymore." I had complained to him once again. I furrowed my eyebrows, not agree with his words earlier at all.
El is my other brother. He is Sam’s twin brother. Although their faces are very similar, they are actually very different. Since junior high, Sam and El asked me to start calling them by their name only. Though mum and dad told me to keep calling them with brother, but sometimes I do feel closer to their name, endorsed some agreement with them.
Before the accident, we all know that relationship between mum and dad hadn’t been going very well. They argued a lot. When it happened, El usually calmed me down, because El more often stayed at home rather than Sam. But I know, Sam was watching over everything in his own way. It was him who picked me up from school or my activities outside the school. It is not such a secret that many of my school’s friends had felt in love with Sam. Sam and El is just the same. For me, they both are like twin stars.
Until one day, my mother finally decided to divorce with dad. Mum was too busy working. She couldn’t even spare her time for dad. And so, El had an idea; he’s trying to fix relationship between mum and dad. We planned to go on vacation together to a mountain peak in South Bandung area. He and Sam were preparing a surprise for both. At that time I had just graduated from high school. Really didn’t know what Sam and El were planning about.
Dad drove with me. Meanwhile, Mum picked up by Sam and El from her office. They've rented a villa there, the villa that would be a place for us to stay for the weekend as it was planned.
However, that plan never materialized. Car that driven by Sam slipped around the bend winding roads that steep. After the incident, Sam was in critical stage for two days. Worse yet, after knowing mum and El could not be saved, Sam seemed really depressed. Howled and cried every day, yelling, why not himself dead at the time. After nearly half of the year Sam finally got out of that trauma.
"I can’t forgive my own self, Ra ..., forever. Mum and El were better than me, they should not died-"
"Sam ... Stop it! Really I do not want to hear you blame yourself over and over again. Indeed who could decide someone should live or die?"
"But, just because of you I need to survive, Ra ..."
"I know, but you do not deserve treated yourself every time just like that. I won’t ever let you, Sam."
"El comes often in my dreams, Ra. He always says the same message. "
"What's the message?"
"Always keep eyes on you."
"Just me? " I asked, trying to convince. However, he just shrugged and fell into silent again.
When entering the high school I began to understand it. I described relationship between Sam and El, was like twin stars, depended on each other. El was more silent than Sam, and also smarter, El got more loved from dad because of his obedient. In fact, he couldn’t be far away from Sam. Sam was more daring in any case. He’s "nine out of ten" in any eyes of girls. Many admirers came for his friendly, more outgoing, and more expressive attitude. In addition, he obviously protected El and me.
In astronomy, they like two stars around each other. Circulation of the twin stars that were close together, or you could say, they go hand in hand. Both gas exchanged through the equatorial tidal flow transformed. Twin star pairs may consist of all kinds, and often didn’t match. The red giant star as I known as the white dwarf. But strangely, all members in a mismatched pair, it is very likely born simultaneously.
El resembled a giant red star, while Sam was like a white dwarf star in the eyes of Dad. Once Sam was very considered about his view from dad, in fact, it is often made him sick. Until Dad getting married for a second. That's where Sam was really disappointed.
"Papa had a son, Sam." I told him with little hesitation.
"Oh ...," he looked at me briefly.
"His name is Rayan. But now he's still at aunt's house. "
"Where is her house anyway, Ra?"
"Pasar minggu".
"Hmm ... I see. Maybe someday I’ll pay a visit. Would you like to accompany me?"
I wrinkled my forehead and smiled. ”Sure” then I finally nodded.
After the conversation that morning, Sam has gone again. However, this time he left his address. It turned out that Sam rent a house not too far from home. No wonder, sometimes I still feel he is all around watching me or daddy. But, he still did not want daddy knows the address.
"So, was Sam coming by here earlier, Ra?" Daddy asked me when he’s coming home from work.
I nodded for agreement.
"Has he still mad at me?" Dad asked me.
"No, dad ... he said he would to see you soon. He just need more time.”
He took a deep breath. I know, yet dad had the same affection. He always dreamt that someday Sam will come home. Dad still always talked about Sam and El as sons that he proud of in front of Aunt Inne and her family.
When Sam came this morning, I felt Sam has changed, and somehow dad felt that too. Sam seems born to be a rebellion to any rules that exist in this world. If it was not El who’s talking, mostly he did not listen. Although Sam looked tougher on the outside, in fact he’s the one who most often feel afraid. El once told me that behind Sam’s nonchalant attitude and his not-so-care act, he's fearful. Afraid that he can’t protect the me and El as a brother.
"I met Sam, Ra!" said dad this afternoon, putting her keys on the table. His face was full of smiles. Behind him, Aunt Inne followed him while holding Rayan.
"He went to dad's office?" I asked.
"I met him during a pilgrimage to sanctuary of El and your mum."
“Pilgrimage? Why didn’t you let me know?"
"I’m sorry, Ra ... actually we unintentionally went there. Inne suddenly asked turned to it. I never thought would meet Sam on graveyard. "
"Where did he come from?"
"He’s working, he said the company he work for handled advertising nearby, so he stopped by."
I paused, waiting for the next Dad’s lines. I know, there are many words Dad wants to tell about Sam.
"I saw Sam has brought his own car now, Ra .."
"That’s not his car anyway, Dad."
"Well, it’s office inventory, .. but still good right, Ra, .. he finally settled quite long in certain company. He has showed that he can be trusted. "
"Yes! Rayan was also very pleased to see Sam," now Auntie Inne gave an opinion.
"Ya?” I’d really surprised.
"He seems just love to see his own brother."
I saw dad nodded. The proud is seen in his face, admiration for the boy who used to be compared to his own brother. I smiled.
After the encounter, Sam came home more often. However, he still did not allow me to tell Dad where he stays. Dad wanted him to back home badly. Of course, I very much agree with Dad. However, Sam said he wanted to be independent first. He seemed want to prove something to Dad, something that he only knows. Although I often asked him, what is actually he wants to prove. His presence at home was way beyond mine and daddy’s hope.
That afternoon, I called daddy. In the middle of the quiet street my car had unexpectedly broken down. My dad said he should finish the meeting until evening. Tante Inne also still in her house at Pasar Minggu. Though I felt a little scared, I tried to control myself. Dad left the phone number of a tow truck, and I tried to contact them. I've never had a car broken down like that before. Do not know what happened, other than a strike, the tire was also flat. And as I recalled, I was pretty diligent in keeping the car.
It was nearly fifteen minutes passed after I call the tow truck.
"Sorry miss, did you call a tow truck?" said someone with red hat while he came.
"Yes, Sir." I nodded as I saw two people wearing uniforms similar to a mechanic standing near my car. They used motorbike by the way.
"What is the problem, miss?"
"I have no idea! The engine suddenly off and my car’s tires also blow-out."
"Have you checked the fuel?"
"Sure! Has no problem with that."
"Well ..." he said very convincingly. Then he opened the hood of my car for a while and then closed it again.
"What about the crane?" I asked one of them about car that should towed my car.
"Will be here soon"
"Okay ..." I felt a little bit anxious. Just a minute, I’d aware that the actual path that I went through was very quiet. I began to gasped, starting to feel scared. At first I was unsuspecting, until finally one of them opened the bag and I saw a lot of unusual stuff for someone who work as mechanic.
"Sorry miss, we have to do this.”
I turned my forehead towards them. Knew exactly what is meant by those words. I haven’t perfectly realized what really happened, suddenly a hard blow knocked my head. I fell down, but before it all dark, I knew that I could feel my own blood flow.
I felt like standing firmly at the point that hasn’t changed. Felt like I'm standing in outer space. And I seem ready to explore the universe. I smiled looking around. The sky was so beautiful when it looks like soft silk red, white, and blue. Bathed by the stars surround me now. As I’m covered by those.
My smile got wider as I could see Mum and El in the distance waiting for me to run towards them. Right before I headed to them, I could clearly see the twin stars. They looked so perfect. I do believe if the twin stars were already close together, then I must be in a safe place. There will be Sam and El who will always look after me. A second later I walked slowly toward El as he smiling at me.
I'm worried now. What exactly was happening? Why did El and mum don’t want to go see me. I saw the twin star once again. Oh God, what exactly happened? I cried. I saw one of the stars is dead. Exploding white dwarf stars are very powerful. I'm still crying because didn’t see El any longer. I gasped for breath as it getting heavier due to my sadness. I arrived at a place that I never know before, and I still ran away. But, still I didn’t understand what exactly happened.
I'm still running. I was running so fast as my breath up and down indeterminately. I felt my veins were like going to explode. I felt my adrenaline pushing through my vessel for a reason I didn’t understand. I looked around but no one there. Looking to the East, I just saw the moon that looking back at me in confuse.
"Rara .. " I heard someone’s call.
"Yes I'm here, El.” I was cried again “Mum?"
"Rara... I'm here, darling".
I ran effortlessly towards the sound. Until finally, I see the blurry shadows, Sam cried in front of me, kissing my hand.
"Honey, wake up!"
"Sam?" I weakly called him.
"Thank God." Sam said again.
My head was very dizzy. But, I could see Dad, Aunt Inne, and Rayan around me.
"Daddy, where am I now?"
"You're in the hospital, baby."
Maybe I couldn’t survive on that night, if Sam hadn’t came to help me. Apparently Dad called Sam and told him to pick me up. That was my fault, why didn’t called Sam at that time. Sam had been gone in a long time; so I wasn’t get use to his existences yet.
"I could never forgive myself, Ra, if you get hurt, or worse."
"But in fact, you're still the best brother I have." I said it after a few days and my condition is getting well.
I'm not really want to lower my hands to prop my chin, I leaned on the dresser right beside the open window, until there was a very familiar voice tried to woke me up.
"Hi ... Ra ..." he said softly.
We were still staring at each other for a while. I forgot when the last time we’re doing that. It’s been too long. Soon, he raised his eyebrows as he smiled.
"Howdy, Ra?" He asked casually as he stood leaning against my door.
"Sam!" I suddenly got up from the bench my room and threw my arms around him. "Good! Where have you been, Sam? I just really missed you! "
I wonder what made him so different. After that incident, I know, he had the most terrible injured. But then when I saw him after so long, he was the same.
"I'm here right now ..." Sam hugged me and kissed my cheek. "You are getting big."
"You're an evil, never come home!" I can’t hide my tears.
"I’m really sorry, Ra." he’s still hugging me. "Is everything all right here?"
"It's good."
"What about Daddy?"
"M-hm ... He's good too!" and then I can't stop my tears.
"Please, don’t cry anymore ... you’ll look ugly." he laughed as he teased me.
"I don’t care! I just miss you! I am very happy you're here!"
"That's why I’m here."
After a while I tried to pull his arms, but its hard because I still enjoyed his embrace. As if I didn’t want to lose that moment.
"Sam ... Don’t go anymore, please ...!" I said earnestly.
"Yeah ..," she nodded weakly.
It’s almost two years Sam didn’t come home. He abandoned his study at college. He left home and gone off somewhere. Sam is my oldest brother. After an accident three years ago, I knew Sam could not seem to forgive himself, perhaps until now.
"This house actually remains the same, Ra ..."
"No Sam ... never be the same without you here." We both sat on the bench, our favorite spot at back porch.
He bowed briefly and then looked ahead toward a row of pots of orchids with a straight face, but seems hide his interest.
"The Orchids, did you nurse all of them?" I knew he would ask me that. "How beautiful they are!"
"No, I didn’t. It’s Aunt Inne"
"Owh ..." he sounds lazy.
Aunt Inne was the new wife of our dad. Two years ago our dad decided to remarry. All I know, Sam really hates it. For him unfairly, how could so easily our dad enter strangers to our house, to marry him, and then forget about our loving mother away. He decided not to come to the wedding. After that, Sam seemed don’t want to be found by anyone.
Even so, he still sent me something in some mysterious way. Frequently Sam just sent me news that he was fine. Just few words like; "I miss you, Ra!" or "Study hard, Ra". Or "Keep an eye on daddy, Ra" which delivered by the maid, gardener, or anyone else but never directly to me and Dad and Auntie Inne.
"What about your college?" he asked.
"Good." I nodded.
"No doubt many boys had a crush on you, isn’t it?" she teased me again, ignorant as usual. However, that's what I always miss about him.
"That’s because you are my brother!" I retorted.
"Sure!" Sam laughed very relax at time.
"All this time, where had you been, Sam?" my face couldn’t hide my worry.
"I’m so sorry, I know I've been making all worried. I just want to prove to myself, mama, also El, that I could change to be a better person. Anyway, I've been working now, Ra” he said, looking at me.
"Really?"
"Yeah, at the multimedia’s company. I’m an illustrator there."
"I know, your soul has always existed in that world, Sam."
"I realize it's been a long time. Basically I just messed up with my life before that ...-"
"Who said you’re messed up anyway?!” I interrupted him. "You're still the best brother for me."
"I can only make troubles for mum and dad," then he drew in an audible breath."Mama and El died because of me".
"Sam, stop it. I never want to hear that anymore." I had complained to him once again. I furrowed my eyebrows, not agree with his words earlier at all.
El is my other brother. He is Sam’s twin brother. Although their faces are very similar, they are actually very different. Since junior high, Sam and El asked me to start calling them by their name only. Though mum and dad told me to keep calling them with brother, but sometimes I do feel closer to their name, endorsed some agreement with them.
Before the accident, we all know that relationship between mum and dad hadn’t been going very well. They argued a lot. When it happened, El usually calmed me down, because El more often stayed at home rather than Sam. But I know, Sam was watching over everything in his own way. It was him who picked me up from school or my activities outside the school. It is not such a secret that many of my school’s friends had felt in love with Sam. Sam and El is just the same. For me, they both are like twin stars.
Until one day, my mother finally decided to divorce with dad. Mum was too busy working. She couldn’t even spare her time for dad. And so, El had an idea; he’s trying to fix relationship between mum and dad. We planned to go on vacation together to a mountain peak in South Bandung area. He and Sam were preparing a surprise for both. At that time I had just graduated from high school. Really didn’t know what Sam and El were planning about.
Dad drove with me. Meanwhile, Mum picked up by Sam and El from her office. They've rented a villa there, the villa that would be a place for us to stay for the weekend as it was planned.
However, that plan never materialized. Car that driven by Sam slipped around the bend winding roads that steep. After the incident, Sam was in critical stage for two days. Worse yet, after knowing mum and El could not be saved, Sam seemed really depressed. Howled and cried every day, yelling, why not himself dead at the time. After nearly half of the year Sam finally got out of that trauma.
"I can’t forgive my own self, Ra ..., forever. Mum and El were better than me, they should not died-"
"Sam ... Stop it! Really I do not want to hear you blame yourself over and over again. Indeed who could decide someone should live or die?"
"But, just because of you I need to survive, Ra ..."
"I know, but you do not deserve treated yourself every time just like that. I won’t ever let you, Sam."
"El comes often in my dreams, Ra. He always says the same message. "
"What's the message?"
"Always keep eyes on you."
"Just me? " I asked, trying to convince. However, he just shrugged and fell into silent again.
When entering the high school I began to understand it. I described relationship between Sam and El, was like twin stars, depended on each other. El was more silent than Sam, and also smarter, El got more loved from dad because of his obedient. In fact, he couldn’t be far away from Sam. Sam was more daring in any case. He’s "nine out of ten" in any eyes of girls. Many admirers came for his friendly, more outgoing, and more expressive attitude. In addition, he obviously protected El and me.
In astronomy, they like two stars around each other. Circulation of the twin stars that were close together, or you could say, they go hand in hand. Both gas exchanged through the equatorial tidal flow transformed. Twin star pairs may consist of all kinds, and often didn’t match. The red giant star as I known as the white dwarf. But strangely, all members in a mismatched pair, it is very likely born simultaneously.
El resembled a giant red star, while Sam was like a white dwarf star in the eyes of Dad. Once Sam was very considered about his view from dad, in fact, it is often made him sick. Until Dad getting married for a second. That's where Sam was really disappointed.
"Papa had a son, Sam." I told him with little hesitation.
"Oh ...," he looked at me briefly.
"His name is Rayan. But now he's still at aunt's house. "
"Where is her house anyway, Ra?"
"Pasar minggu".
"Hmm ... I see. Maybe someday I’ll pay a visit. Would you like to accompany me?"
I wrinkled my forehead and smiled. ”Sure” then I finally nodded.
After the conversation that morning, Sam has gone again. However, this time he left his address. It turned out that Sam rent a house not too far from home. No wonder, sometimes I still feel he is all around watching me or daddy. But, he still did not want daddy knows the address.
"So, was Sam coming by here earlier, Ra?" Daddy asked me when he’s coming home from work.
I nodded for agreement.
"Has he still mad at me?" Dad asked me.
"No, dad ... he said he would to see you soon. He just need more time.”
He took a deep breath. I know, yet dad had the same affection. He always dreamt that someday Sam will come home. Dad still always talked about Sam and El as sons that he proud of in front of Aunt Inne and her family.
When Sam came this morning, I felt Sam has changed, and somehow dad felt that too. Sam seems born to be a rebellion to any rules that exist in this world. If it was not El who’s talking, mostly he did not listen. Although Sam looked tougher on the outside, in fact he’s the one who most often feel afraid. El once told me that behind Sam’s nonchalant attitude and his not-so-care act, he's fearful. Afraid that he can’t protect the me and El as a brother.
"I met Sam, Ra!" said dad this afternoon, putting her keys on the table. His face was full of smiles. Behind him, Aunt Inne followed him while holding Rayan.
"He went to dad's office?" I asked.
"I met him during a pilgrimage to sanctuary of El and your mum."
“Pilgrimage? Why didn’t you let me know?"
"I’m sorry, Ra ... actually we unintentionally went there. Inne suddenly asked turned to it. I never thought would meet Sam on graveyard. "
"Where did he come from?"
"He’s working, he said the company he work for handled advertising nearby, so he stopped by."
I paused, waiting for the next Dad’s lines. I know, there are many words Dad wants to tell about Sam.
"I saw Sam has brought his own car now, Ra .."
"That’s not his car anyway, Dad."
"Well, it’s office inventory, .. but still good right, Ra, .. he finally settled quite long in certain company. He has showed that he can be trusted. "
"Yes! Rayan was also very pleased to see Sam," now Auntie Inne gave an opinion.
"Ya?” I’d really surprised.
"He seems just love to see his own brother."
I saw dad nodded. The proud is seen in his face, admiration for the boy who used to be compared to his own brother. I smiled.
After the encounter, Sam came home more often. However, he still did not allow me to tell Dad where he stays. Dad wanted him to back home badly. Of course, I very much agree with Dad. However, Sam said he wanted to be independent first. He seemed want to prove something to Dad, something that he only knows. Although I often asked him, what is actually he wants to prove. His presence at home was way beyond mine and daddy’s hope.
That afternoon, I called daddy. In the middle of the quiet street my car had unexpectedly broken down. My dad said he should finish the meeting until evening. Tante Inne also still in her house at Pasar Minggu. Though I felt a little scared, I tried to control myself. Dad left the phone number of a tow truck, and I tried to contact them. I've never had a car broken down like that before. Do not know what happened, other than a strike, the tire was also flat. And as I recalled, I was pretty diligent in keeping the car.
It was nearly fifteen minutes passed after I call the tow truck.
"Sorry miss, did you call a tow truck?" said someone with red hat while he came.
"Yes, Sir." I nodded as I saw two people wearing uniforms similar to a mechanic standing near my car. They used motorbike by the way.
"What is the problem, miss?"
"I have no idea! The engine suddenly off and my car’s tires also blow-out."
"Have you checked the fuel?"
"Sure! Has no problem with that."
"Well ..." he said very convincingly. Then he opened the hood of my car for a while and then closed it again.
"What about the crane?" I asked one of them about car that should towed my car.
"Will be here soon"
"Okay ..." I felt a little bit anxious. Just a minute, I’d aware that the actual path that I went through was very quiet. I began to gasped, starting to feel scared. At first I was unsuspecting, until finally one of them opened the bag and I saw a lot of unusual stuff for someone who work as mechanic.
"Sorry miss, we have to do this.”
I turned my forehead towards them. Knew exactly what is meant by those words. I haven’t perfectly realized what really happened, suddenly a hard blow knocked my head. I fell down, but before it all dark, I knew that I could feel my own blood flow.
I felt like standing firmly at the point that hasn’t changed. Felt like I'm standing in outer space. And I seem ready to explore the universe. I smiled looking around. The sky was so beautiful when it looks like soft silk red, white, and blue. Bathed by the stars surround me now. As I’m covered by those.
My smile got wider as I could see Mum and El in the distance waiting for me to run towards them. Right before I headed to them, I could clearly see the twin stars. They looked so perfect. I do believe if the twin stars were already close together, then I must be in a safe place. There will be Sam and El who will always look after me. A second later I walked slowly toward El as he smiling at me.
I'm worried now. What exactly was happening? Why did El and mum don’t want to go see me. I saw the twin star once again. Oh God, what exactly happened? I cried. I saw one of the stars is dead. Exploding white dwarf stars are very powerful. I'm still crying because didn’t see El any longer. I gasped for breath as it getting heavier due to my sadness. I arrived at a place that I never know before, and I still ran away. But, still I didn’t understand what exactly happened.
I'm still running. I was running so fast as my breath up and down indeterminately. I felt my veins were like going to explode. I felt my adrenaline pushing through my vessel for a reason I didn’t understand. I looked around but no one there. Looking to the East, I just saw the moon that looking back at me in confuse.
"Rara .. " I heard someone’s call.
"Yes I'm here, El.” I was cried again “Mum?"
"Rara... I'm here, darling".
I ran effortlessly towards the sound. Until finally, I see the blurry shadows, Sam cried in front of me, kissing my hand.
"Honey, wake up!"
"Sam?" I weakly called him.
"Thank God." Sam said again.
My head was very dizzy. But, I could see Dad, Aunt Inne, and Rayan around me.
"Daddy, where am I now?"
"You're in the hospital, baby."
Maybe I couldn’t survive on that night, if Sam hadn’t came to help me. Apparently Dad called Sam and told him to pick me up. That was my fault, why didn’t called Sam at that time. Sam had been gone in a long time; so I wasn’t get use to his existences yet.
"I could never forgive myself, Ra, if you get hurt, or worse."
"But in fact, you're still the best brother I have." I said it after a few days and my condition is getting well.
"I promise, I will go home soon."
I smiled, glad to hear it. I knew Sam couldn’t live with the guilty feeling anymore.
According to dad’s story, as my lucky at that time, Sam came with his friend to picked me up. He crippling two criminals and hurriedly took me to the hospital while his friend sent two criminals to the police station.
"Sam, how long I’m unconscious?"
"24 hours. But, finally my blood had beneficial for you," he said with a joke. "My blood similar with yours, while El similar with dad." I tried to ignore his little joked then.
"Sam," I muttered, sighed softly breath.
"Ya?”
"I think I saw Mama and El."
He just stayed silent grimly, he remained stun.
"They seemed happy there. I also saw the twin stars, Sam." I saw his brow furrowed. "But I was sad. Why did a white dwarf star have to explode?"
"Supernova." He muttered quietly.
"What?"
"Yeah, something you saw was called by supernova. It’s the way of stars to end their own life"
"Is because El was dead?"
"It has got nothing to do with it,” he said “It’s just your delusion. You went to a different world when you're in critical stage yesterday. Although El and mum are dead, they’re still exist here." Sam put his hand on his chest.
"Then what will happen after supernova, Sam?"
"There will be a new star. Star that explodes in supernova will be look very bright. Even its brilliant light can reach hundreds of millions times than the original star."
I smiled then. Now I know what that means.
"Why are you smiling?" Sam said after he saw me.
"Now, you're a the bright new star Sam," Sam then kissed my forehead "Do not go again, please” I begged.
"Ok, this time I promise."
After the incident, Sam came home. We became a whole family again. I’ve been waiting for this time when all of us live together as a new family. Day by day we’re getting happier than ever. God, please..I don’t want to lose them again, forever. "
Edited By: Nengnong and Me (Lately!) ^_^
Thanks banget jadi Ciamik!!!
I smiled, glad to hear it. I knew Sam couldn’t live with the guilty feeling anymore.
According to dad’s story, as my lucky at that time, Sam came with his friend to picked me up. He crippling two criminals and hurriedly took me to the hospital while his friend sent two criminals to the police station.
"Sam, how long I’m unconscious?"
"24 hours. But, finally my blood had beneficial for you," he said with a joke. "My blood similar with yours, while El similar with dad." I tried to ignore his little joked then.
"Sam," I muttered, sighed softly breath.
"Ya?”
"I think I saw Mama and El."
He just stayed silent grimly, he remained stun.
"They seemed happy there. I also saw the twin stars, Sam." I saw his brow furrowed. "But I was sad. Why did a white dwarf star have to explode?"
"Supernova." He muttered quietly.
"What?"
"Yeah, something you saw was called by supernova. It’s the way of stars to end their own life"
"Is because El was dead?"
"It has got nothing to do with it,” he said “It’s just your delusion. You went to a different world when you're in critical stage yesterday. Although El and mum are dead, they’re still exist here." Sam put his hand on his chest.
"Then what will happen after supernova, Sam?"
"There will be a new star. Star that explodes in supernova will be look very bright. Even its brilliant light can reach hundreds of millions times than the original star."
I smiled then. Now I know what that means.
"Why are you smiling?" Sam said after he saw me.
"Now, you're a the bright new star Sam," Sam then kissed my forehead "Do not go again, please” I begged.
"Ok, this time I promise."
After the incident, Sam came home. We became a whole family again. I’ve been waiting for this time when all of us live together as a new family. Day by day we’re getting happier than ever. God, please..I don’t want to lose them again, forever. "
Edited By: Nengnong and Me (Lately!) ^_^
Thanks banget jadi Ciamik!!!
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